Stupid fun crap

My Dearest Readers…

I am told that people do not like the tone of my last article. (Maybe this means these people are assholes and just don’t want to admit it to themselves.)

I am honest with myself and freely admit that I am a bitch and I have a bad attitude. If that’s an issue for you, perhaps you should have taken notice of my blogs name. Look up. It’s the thing with the big, red A.

Have an nice sunset:

Sunset

Dog Food Advertisement FAIL

DogFoodAdFailThis a real ad for a real brand of ‘natural, grain-free raw dog food,’ that was prominently featured on a blog I was reading today. The company says, “We named our company after Charles Darwin, whose work embodies this approach of being “Inspired by Nature, Informed by Science.””

I am sure the pug is a customers dog, and that’s very nice and sweet and all. But the juxtaposition of Darwin, the father of natural selection, and a pug made me laugh hysterically. Of course, I am easily amused. YMMV.

BTW, we have a dog named Darwin. And while I am pretty hard-assed about dog breeding NOT being comparable to natural selection…yeah, well, you probably get my drift.

(Every Day is) Halloween

I have a raging sinus infection, so I almost forgot the Annual Posting of the Halloween Songs. I didn’t look too hard this year, I confess, and am relying on some old favorites.

Remember, if you go to a club with blacklights, and you are prone to dandruff, wear a white shirt! Also, you’ll stand out on the dance floor.

The immortal poppy original.

Updated version, not so sure I like this.

Siouxsie and the Banshees.

My favorite!

Bonus track.

Don’t eat too much candy.

Please Participate in My Reader Poll

I think the last time I did one of these I was still blogging dog stuff on Bretts blog. It’s not anything formal, just a basic idea of who, what , where. Take a minute and fill it out, click anything that applies to you, and feel free to add any comments you feel may be relevant. Or irrelevant, doesn’t matter.

Holy tomato, my blog archives go all the way to 2007. Time to retire.

And This is Why You Should Read the Blog Policy Before Commenting, My Darlings

“All rise.”

“Hear ye! Hear ye! The Ultra-Supreme and Possibly Too Fond of It’s Own Cleverness Court of the Cynoanarchist is now in session, the Honorable Blog God Jess presiding.”

:::waves hand magnanimously::: Sit! Good readers. What are the charges?

Knee-jerking, Failure to Read and Comprehend the Post Before Commenting, Failure to Read the Linked Source Material Before Commenting, and Failure to Read the Blog Policy Before Commenting, your Honor.”

That last one is, unfortunately, a hangin’ offense. Who is the defendant?

“A woman named Lynne Fracassi, your Honor. E-mail address is goddessflidais at yahoo.com, IP is 64.222.236.240, resides in Maine and seems to be an ‘animal rescuer.’ She has a Facebook page, Maine Citizens Against Puppy Mills. Apparently, she means well.”

Meaning well is no excuse for being a moron. Present the offending comment.

Lynne Fracassi commented on Why the Proposed APHIS Licensing Changes Will Screw Small Hobby Breeders and the People Who Buy Puppies from Them

That is just crazy, hysterical thinking. No one will make you kick your dogs out of their house where dogs (breeding dogs) belong. Not in a cage that is 6 inches longer and wider than they are . Stop spreading propaganda and hysteria.

Please add Lying to the charges. Also, Hand-Waving, and Willful Ignorance for not reading the source links.

“Added, your Honor. And I would like to state, that you don’t seem to following any sort of approved court procedure.”

In this universe, my little blue-text-pseudo-court-flunky, I am god, and I’m just making shit up as I go along. Present the second comment, please.

You must be reading from the HumaneWatch script that all of you do. The mid west is the most inhumane area in the U.S.

Add Using Logical Fallacies to the charges. Also, Moronic Behavior. Any other evidence?

“This screenshot of the defendant’s Facebook page, linking to your post.”

Screenshot entered into evidence. And that explains where all those hits came from, even though comments on the proposed APHIS rule change closed in August.

Lynne Fracassi, you stand charged with Knee-jerking, Failure to Read and Comprehend the Post Before Commenting, Failure to Read the Linked Source Material Before Commenting, Failure to Read the Blog Policy Before Commenting, Lying, Hand-waving, Willful Ignorance, Using Logical Fallacies, and Moronic Behavior. How do you plead?

Ms. Fracassi?

“She’s not really here, your Honor.”

Technically, neither are you. I’m just dialoging with myself.

“We’ll leave the issues with that unsaid, your Honor.”

I control the delete key, you know.

Very well, although I dearly love a little pleading on a Monday night, we will simply pronounce the defendant guilty and proceed with the charges.

Due to your efforts in the rescue community we will drop the Knee-jerking charge. You do understand, however, that Failure to Read the Linked Source Material Before Commenting, and Failure to Read the Blog Policy Before Commenting are extremely serious offenses on this blog and carry with them the likewise serious sentence of Being Made an Example Of in Your Very Own Post.

Lynne Fracassi, the Ultra-Supreme and Possibly Too Fond of It’s Own Cleverness Court of the Cynoanarchist pronounces you guilty of Failure to Read and Comprehend the Post Before Commenting, Failure to Read the Linked Source Material Before Commenting, Failure to Read the Blog Policy Before Commenting, Lying, Willful Ignorance, Using Logical Fallacies, and Moronic Behavior, and sentences you to Being Made an Example Of in Your Very Own Post, as decreed by the Blog Policy, which states, “Abusive comments will usually be allowed to stand, but again, I will make fun of you. If you present a large enough target, I will turn the comment into a post, and make fun of you in a larger space.”

Welcome to your larger space, Lynne.

Hopefully you have learned from this experience that when the comment form says ‘Please read the Blog Policy before commenting,’ it means Please read the Blog Policy before commenting.

Court is adjourned. Time for dessert!

Nose Hair: a Really Terrible Poem

The Afghan hound

has a coat that is fine,

it shines and it waves in the breeze.

~

When an Afghan hound sheds

the hairs float up my nose,

where they tickle and cause me to sneeze.

The Afghan hound

may snicker and smirk,

as it watches me trying in vain,

~

While I snort

and I sniff and I blow and I pick

out the hair that becomes such a pain.

But the smirk

is short-lived for the Afghan with hair,

that shimmered and shone and waved

~

On the breeze

as it floated high overhead,

after the coat of the Afghan was shaved.